Opinion

SLAY QUEENS: LOOKING GOOD FOR THEMSELVES

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Mr John, If you still think that ladies that dress well and look hot in their outfit are doing so because they want to seduce men then you need a reality check and that’s what this piece is all about.

In general terms a slay queen is someone who can sway any given person by stating their own opinion without trying to please anybody. You don’t fcuk with them because like we say here, they will give you your size! When you call a lady a slay queen, in addition to the qualities mentioned, you are referring to a girl with brains and not the one necessarily with heavy make-up on. She is the type of girl that dresses well and turns the heads of onlookers both male and female. She is not the one who seeks for attention on social media. She is the one who uses tenses correctly and appropriately. She is the one that just do her thing the way she wants and how she wants without any apology.

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The truth is that all men love to see the little but tiny details of a woman’s curve and shape in their outfits. Ironically, a lot of men quickly want to judge or condemn ladies they perceived as over dressed before other people while they secretly fantasised about the gorgeous body inside in a complete awe.

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The Journal of International Women’s Studies reports that there is a gender-based attribution gap wherein men are reportedly perceiving the sexualized look of women as an indication of interest in sex, intent to seduce, whereas women only cite their wish to feel and look attractive as its primary cause and entirely rejecting the seduction claim.

There has been a widespread and age-long sexual objectification of women and the social construction of female beauty in sexual terms by men and unfortunately by women too, and that explains why a mother tells her daughter to always dress in covered clothes to be able to attract the ‘right’ partner so to say, or to avoid any sexual assault of some sort. But studies have shown that in reality there is no connection between style of dress and sexual victimization of any sort.

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Men’s perception and objectification of women in a social context is widespread, this cultural practice constructs women as objects for the viewing pleasure, sexual lust and desire of men, reducing them to their sexuality above all else.

Truth is, all over the years, fashion trends and recently social media have seen many women wear crazy, fashioned clothes for themselves, not for men, and so it really doesn’t matter what men think about them at all. And, more importantly, women should not care and I think they don’t anymore.

Perhaps the most annoying gender generalisation that men make is the suggestion that they hate the fitted and trendy clothes that exposed some little bit of curves and shapes of women. Women know that most men don’t like their bust wrap-around linen, their dropped-crotch trousers, their giant peplum blouse, and their oversized skirts or trainers. Women aren’t stupid, they know men are just being men and I think they just don’t care anymore which is just great!

A 45-year-old educationist and retired Army Major said “A man likes a woman to look hot if she is his girlfriend; cute if she is his sister; graceful if she is his mother and sultry if she is his wife. Men know best how a woman needs to dress because men fantasise about women all the time!”

Can you see the hypocrisy? Why can’t a woman just be hot, or cute, or sultry and graceful through her entire life after all she’s the same woman? Why must she have to be more than one person to different people? Things will be less complicated.

You will be surprised to know that most men believe that very-high heels and red lipsticks suggest a woman is “high-maintenance”. I just see ladies on high heel as confident and beautiful while red lipstick, from ages, signals a woman who is self-assured and empowered.

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Red lips are a sign of strength, prowess and assertion. Consider Jean Harlow’s red pout in the 1930s, Veronica Lake’s in the 1940s, Marilyn Monroe’s in the 1950s, Folusho Alakija and Stella Obasanjo in 2000s. None of these women was known for playing the girlish ingénue. They were and are women with unconcealed feminine power, they were knowing. Dressing your lips in red draws people’s attention to you, especially your mouth, and subsequently, the words that come out of it.

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Zurain Imam, a fashion journalist and social commentator figured that ‘at the end of the day, a woman is going to look her best in something she feels good in, which is the most important point of all’. If you’re comfortable in your skin, in your body, you’re on a winning streak. ‘Any messages that might be read into your clothes by anyone can be overcome by a smile, an inner glow, a canny coolness and poise that says, “I don’t really care what you think, “I love this outfit.” Chances are then, they probably will as well.

Picture Credits: Rita Dominic @AMVCA awards, Rita Ora, internet

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